Poet Review

amber-yoder.diaryland

3:44 p.m. :: 2005-09-25

Because your poems are so long, I will only do one per review. If you want the other two you submitted reviewed, please submit only one at a time, and one week after the most recent review. If you would like all your poems reviewed, then sure, I'll do it, just one at a time. Thanks.

user-name: 0/1
I don't like it...
contact: 4/4
aim, e-mail, notes
layout: 10/10
I LOVE your layout.
spacing & readablity: 10/10
Perfectly functional, and readable.

[24/25]

Fear Living, Embrace Hell

title: 4/5
I like the title's content, but "fear living" has one meaning to it, and "embrace hell" seems to have an unrelated meaning and feeling.
opening: 9/10
"I crossed out the lies in every picture, watched them dance in the flames of hell, and cried until their memory no longer existed." I like this tramendously. Deep, well written, and for sure mind-catching. The only thing I don't like is your long sentences.
closing: 10/10
Very harsh, left me gasping. It seems as though the words are being screamed at the end. Very convincing.
appealing & style: 10/10
It's very full of personal touches. "my way into Hades" for example, instead of "my way into hell" or death or demise. It's very personalized. I like that about it.
relate to it: 8/10
I can sort of, I've been there, just no time recently. Not everyone has that moment or time where they want to die, but I'd say most do.
rhyme & rhythm: 5/10
Not so much a rhyme scheme, or a rhythm, but more like ... Well, I don't know. It seems too long for a poem, but certainly not a short story. It's like a cross between a poem and a journal entry. A dramatic speach. I think it could be broken up better, but it's got a unique style.
spelling & grammer: 10/10
Perfect as far as I could see.
like it: 7/10
I'd like to see it arranged differently.

[63/75]

Total: 87/100
Great work. I like how well and detailed you expressed your feelings. Feel free to submit another in a week or so.

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